Fear is a funny thing…
Sometimes it’s loud, staring you right in the face, making your heart pump out of your chest; and other times it’s quiet, hiding behind excuses, making you feel miserable.
Most times you aren’t even aware of its existence.
But if left unattended, unconscious fears can cause self sabotage, stopping you from ever achieving your dreams and goals.
You already know, that in order to overcome your fears, you must face them. But before you can face them, you need to discover what they are and understand the different types of fears that can manifest inside of you. There are three types of fears to look out for:
External Fear
When you think of fear, thoughts of spiders, ghosts (a big one for me!), or other hauntingly things may come to mind. Or perhaps you’re scared of something like heights or water. These obvious fears, where the emotion is triggered by specific instances or encounters outside of you, are easy to recognize in your life. But other fears are not so easily targeted…
Internal Fear
Similar to external fears, an internal fear can be triggered by events happening around you. However, internal fears are not specific to one certain circumstance (like how your fear of spiders would only come up when you encounter a spider). An internal fear, like for example the fear of failure, can come up in many different situations such as when wanting to start your own business, try out a new craft, or when trying to lose weight.
In addition, these types of fear can also arise with internal thought of the circumstance as opposed to having it right in front of you. These fears are led by emotion, whereas external fears are more led by survival instincts. Some other examples of internal fears could be fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of success (yes, this does happen!), or fear of being vulnerable.
Subconscious Fear
A subconscious fear is rooted deep down inside of you, and is usually attached to some sort of limiting belief about yourself or the world around you. For example, you may have a fear of public speaking because you believe that you aren’t good at expressing yourself. Or perhaps you keep putting off submitting your art to your favorite magazine because deep down you believe you aren’t good enough.
Because these fears coincide with beliefs, they are often very hard to recognize as fears. But by living with these beliefs and fears, you are limiting your life’s potential and they can also cause serious anxiety.
Now that we’ve shed some light on the different types of fears that may be plaguing you, let’s just go ahead and let it all out… right here, right now.
Bare all – What are your deepest fears?
Okay, fine. I’ll go first.
For me, it’s always been fear of failure. Failure in my business, failure as a mother, and failure in my relationships with my husband, friends, and family. And even though I’ve dug deeper and discovered the limiting belief behind it (more on that another day), I still struggle with procrastination and avoidance because of it. Just look at me… Here I am, 9:39pm Thursday night, trying to finish up this blog post. Nothing says fear and procrastination like waiting until the last minute to publish a blog post exposing your fears. Ha.
So, now it’s your turn. Leave a comment below… What are you afraid of?
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I guess I would say my biggest fear is being alone, abandoned. Growing up I wasn’t given much in the way of a loving family so I never really knew what it was like to have people you could trust in you life that wouldn’t leave you. Now however I am grateful for my kids and friends I have made and glad to be getting back into my art which is opening up doors of discovery.
Mine has got to be the fear of failure as well. I also procrastinate. It always surprises me when I finally do the project and everything turns out great. Then I wonder why I put it off so long and used that much energy in worrying about it. I have always wanted to read the Old Testament all the way through. I started this week. I am doing better than I thought I would. It may take a while but eventually I will be able to say I did it and gained from it.
I have tried to practice courage. I have three of my grandchildren a lot of times. My daughter had to go to work full time because of a nasty divorce. I don’t see any end to the situation and somedays I don’t know if I can do it. I come home from work tired and facing three energy filled little children . I love them. I want them to have as stable a life as possible. I have thought of my brother and used his example to boost my courage. He has had to adopt two of his grandchildren. I asked him one day how he was going to get them raised because we are not young any more. He said The Lord would provide a way and he was not going to worry. I am working on not worrying about this situation and taking it day by day. My bother is my example.
Thanks for the post. I love my early Friday morning reflections.
Definitely share the fear of failure with you Krystal. I think for me it goes a bit beyond fearing the failing part and becomes a fear of not being liked. For example, I’ve been making half hearted attempts at an online business/presence for ages now but something is still holding me back. Something beyond the hours and hours of work I know need to be put into it. I am fearful that nobody’s going to like what I offer and therefore not buy it. Crazy? Maybe.
As for practicing courage this week, I tried to discuss something with my husband (something I find hard to do as he can be so black and white and rigid in his thinking) and it went pretty much as most of my talks with him go. Me laying awake for hours quietly crying and him snoring away within a few minutes. I did eventually create a page about it in my art journal but I’m not sure if I can publish it. If I get the courage (pun intended!) I will post a link.
Phew! That felt good to get off my chest! Thanks for these posts!!
Fear….Fear of failure, Fear of being alone, Fear of mortality, fear of not fitting in or being liked, Fear of disappointing others, I am trying to conquer all my fears, I am feeling more at peace, but still have those moments.
Fear of what people will think of me; fear my art isn’t good enough for people that I dont know to actually buy; fear of figuring out and really trying to get it out there so designs could be reproduced on products; fear of completely 100% standing by my art and being proud of it. That’s about it for now:)
I think every one has the tendency to fear but did you know that there are 365 references in the Bible that deal with fear…one for every day…when I found this out it opened my eyes to the fact that when we are in fear we are not in FAITH. So I have been living with the attitude that “What do I have to be afraid of if I am living by faith.”
Fear is a substitute for faith. Do I still fear…when I first get some bit of news like I did a few days ago…YES…I found out the my son-in-law may have cancer on his spine…the first thing my mind wants to do is fear…then the spiritual part of me takes over and the prayer and faith take over and the fear is push into the background.
So this weeks practice in courage is to to be there for my daughter and son-in-law as we as a family are going through this trial…one we never anticipated…together. As I type this he is in the operating room getting a biopsy…and I have peace for a good report.
Definitely fear of not being good enough. Face this every day as a mother, artist, designer, entrepreneur, wife, daughter and friend… It is my base response to think that I’m not good enough, so I am constantly working at turning that around. We are our own worst critics aren’t we? Great post Kristal, thanks for sharing! xo
I applaud your bravery, all of you! It’s a big first step to come out in the open and confess your fears. The first hard step is over with, now continue on your journey towards courage one step at a time. :)
As I read all of the replies, I thought how brave to be able to post their fears. It made me stop and think–I have all of the fears—failure, will they like my work — all of that. Back in October, I entered a local Artist Guild Show (My very first!). I won an honorable mention. How wonderful is that? But, now I am afraid to paint again–Can I do it again? Will I ever be able to “win” in a show? I just don’t seem to have the umph…to paint. I am supposed to be in an art show in April. I have nothing. Thank you to Kristal and all of the ladies who gave their heartfelt comments for inspiring me to start–and to use that honorable mention to strive for first!!!
Thanks so much for sharing everyone. I think my biggest fear is simply not accomplishing my goals – which is to live a creative life – the way that I whole-heartedly see is possible. I believe in the power of unlimited potential and a kind Universe. I see it in all these beautiful women’s online and art-filled creative businesses and I know it’s completely possible. But the “what if” is (unfortunately) a powerful fear. The ego sure gets in the way, so much – and we, I think, especially as women, think we don’t deserve success. It’s actually encouraging to read blogs like this – knowing that we are not at all alone. We all have the same insecurities. Women need to support one another more! :)
It is great that you can tell about your fears . Subconscious fear is what I have ! I am 55 years old my body is so tired. I have 5 different illness that has happen to me . My life has changed so much . Since 2007 . I had to retire as a public school art teacher. Now I have get a lot of rest due to my fatigue. But God has been so good to me and I am so greatful . Thanks for letting me share this with you .
I have been trying all week to get a post written for last Friday. I just now Thursday afternoon got it on the blog. Does that say fear or what? Mostly I think it was about publishing my subconscious fears and of trying to really think about what those fears are.
Fear of disease, fear of being hurt or harmed and fear of being controlled. I want my freedom and independence. I like social interaction but I don’t want to be overstimulated. I don’t like it when people try to demand that I follow social customs that I don’t agree with. For example, I believe that love is simply a unique and particular deep liking for another person. I don’t agree that it is a religious feeling. So the words like and love have a similar resonance for me. I don’t think that liking/love is the basis for legal contracts with dire circumstances in the event of a grievance. So, deep down, I don’t want to be harmed or hurt by another person if they get jealous of my freedom. When I was in the military, my deepest fear was getting shot or blown up, but as a civilian I not only fear the inevitable disease that leads to death but presently other people’s demands to comply with their beliefs that each person must display their heterosexuality by walking around with a woman, getting married, reproducing as if I am committed to their beliefs but somehow not doing it right. Because of this situation with many other people I fear conflict with them and I practice avoiding them.
My fear is not being able to conquer my demons and not being able to reach my goals and live my dreams of becoming the best person (spiritually) I can be. A Fear of not being able to express myself to others and the fear of never being good enough. To quit procrastinating, stay focused and believe in yourself and not care about what others think of you. Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back or Bring You Down to Where You Doubt Yourself or Sabotage Yourself Before Your Even Out of The Starting Gate. I Hope One Day I Can Make It To The Finish Line with My Faith and Pride to Relish in The Glory! We All Need To Become Aware, Acknowledge, Change and Discipline Our Thoughts, Because Our Thoughts Become Our Reality!